honestly…needing to up the calories

hello hello!

So right now I freshly showered after another loong day at work (8 to 4) and just going to town on this watermelon because honestly, it is the best one I have EVER had.  Life is good 🙂

And I am really pumped to be going out for Indian food tonight because honestly, Indian is my #1 favourite cuisine to eat out!

On a more serious, but still honest, note, I have been working like crazy and I am just exhausted.  Being on my feet and serving for 8 – 10 hours everyday really takes a toll, especially when combined with late nights/early mornings.

Honestly though, I know some of this fatigue has to do with my food intake.  I am simply not eating enough for the amount of energy I am expending at work.  I’ve found that when I am constantly moving/busy/working, I don’t get hungry and when it gets busy, there just isn’t time to eat.  I know this is unacceptable though, especially when I am trying to gain.

Honestly, I am glad that I have recognized it and that I want to do something about it.  This, to me, is a huge deal because I realize that I don’t have the ED thoughts anymore, where losing weight and not feeling hungry are “good” things. Honestly, I want to feel my best and be strong and fuel my body and be at a healthy weight and all these things can only happen when I eat properly and make sure not to slack.  Food is still my medicine right now and I am too close to let it all go like this.  So I am going to use you guys and this blog to keep me accountable

I won’t be able to post all of my food just because with work and everything, it is too much to handle but I will do updates.  I didn’t intend for this to be an ED blog but I really do think that blogging will help me gain all the weight I need to in order to be healthy and and get my period back. (sorry TMI?) This has gone on too long and I know there are serious health consequences that come from maintaining a unhealthily low body weight and it was my resolution this year to get back to a good weight so I really want to get on it!

Sorry for all the rambling but I needed to get that all out! I know that I am in a much healthier state of mind and that I have a restored relationship with food, it is mostly just the weight that needs to come on and the getting comfortable with it. 

Honestly, I am very comfortable with where I am at (how I look and feel – I know I am not scarily bony anymore or cold all the time and I look “normal” again) but deep down, I know I am not all the way there yet.  It would be so easy for me just to go on this way but I know I need to just do it. 

Gaining when I had a lot of “room” was easy and kinda fun but now that I am fitting most of my old clothes again, it isn’t so easy.  I feel “softer” and just heavier.  I realized that for most of my life, I was a gymnast so working out all the time and having very little fat was my “normal”.  When I stopped doing gym, that’s when I lost the definition and around when ED started?

As a woman though, I need to have more fat on me but I can’t let ED happen again.  I have been gaining slowly and steadily but honestly, recovery has been stalling and I need to pick up the pace again!

Anyways, here are some eats!

Breakfast a couple days ago – I made whipped banana oats a la Fit Collegiate!  My bowl was soo creamy and banana-y and just perfect topped with strawberries and a dollop of (unpictured) peanut butter! I used

1/2 cup oats, milk, water

2 tbsp wheat bran

1 banana, half mixed in, half sliced on top

1 tbsp chia seeds

cinnamon

1 tbsp smuckers naturals pb

4 strawberries, sliced

strawb-banana-chia-wheat bran-pb oats! whew

 Obviously, I had to have them again,

bog bowl o' whipped banana oats

 Then, this morning I had the biggest craving for eggs soooo, I made toads in a hole! or eggs in a basket! I saw them on blogs everywhere for a while and decided to try my hand at it because my last blog inspired meal was so amazing!

blog inspired breakfast

I was really excited with how well these turned out and how easy they were so, lots of pictures were taken 😉

toad in a hole

egg in a basket

broken egg?

innards

I loved how the eggs ran a bit so I could soak up all the yummy runny yolk with the surrounding toast pieces! Such a fun breakfast! and what a cute name! toads in a hole 🙂

I also had chili! It was pouring today so my mom made chili. Warm, hearty and perfect for cold rainy days, even in the summer!  There was ground beef, beans, onions, tomatoes, mushrooms, and a bunch of spices, the usual suspects!

mum's chili

 I had this array of dippers on the side as well.  Steamed cauliflower and baby carrots and grilled chicken, all topped with lots of cracked black pepper. 

dippers

steamed 'rots

Question: do you like baby carrots fresh n crunchy or steamed?? For the longest time, I would only eat raw baby carrots and then I hated raw ones and would only eat cooked carrots and now I do both! My food preferences change like crazy and I go through phases like no other. Just ask my mum :-s

And I have a recipe for my mexican rice! I came up with this recipe last year while I was at school.  I would make a large batch of it, divide it up, throw some in the freezer and have lunch or dinner ready to heat up. 

I made a batch a couple days ago and have been bringing this to work with me! It tastes fabulous cold or heated up, covers 3 of the food groups and as a one dish meal, it’s perfectly portable.

It seriously takes 15 mins, including the dicing and cooking so it is super quick.  And it uses canned ingredients (or you can use fresh, whichever you have!) and Minute brown rice (or regular if you want) so it is really simple.

ole!

Danica’s Mexican Rice

Serves: around 6

Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients you probably have at home:

1 can diced tomatoes (stewed whole tomatoes work too, just chop ’em up)

1 cup salsa

1 red bell pepper, chopped

1 large onion, chopped

4 cloves garlic, chopped

dashes of cumin, chili powder, black pepper

1 can corn kernels, drained

1 can black beans, rinsed and drained well

1 cup of water

2 cups brown rice (I used Minute Rice)

Directions:

1) Throw everything except the brown rice into a large saucepan and bring to a boil. 

2) Mix in the brown rice, cover and bring to a simmer.  Simmer 10-15 minutes until all the liquid is absorbed.  Add more water if necessary or open lid if the mixture is too wet (it’ll evaporate on its own)

And that’s it! It is so simple and so so good!

You can top it with cheese, sour cream or yogurt, avocado, chicken or any other toppings you feel like!  It’s great in burritos, in salads, you name it.

my mexican rice

So that’s all I have, but some questions for you now!

1) Why do you blog? does it help you stay on track/keep you accountable?

2) How did you move past your “comfort zone” when you knew you had to?

3) Any suggestions for fast, easy, energy(calorie) – packed foods to eat during quick work breaks??

Thanks for reading everyone and have a great night!

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “honestly…needing to up the calories

  1. girl NO worries at all! you WILL get that weight up! food IS fuel-your muscles NEED IT!! I started working more and had to up my cals big time, i feel so much better!!! just gota give you body what it NEEDS (not necessarily what it always WANTS, because sometimes you may be full when u actually need to EAT!) I stuff my face b4 work bc i know ill need it!
    anyway girl- get that weight up! night time meals always helped me during gaining 🙂
    love you!

  2. hey there, I’ve been following your blog for ages now and it’s weird timing but I’m pretty much in the same spot as you right now. would you mind awfully telling me (in an email if you’d prefer) your stats, like ht/wt just so that i can get a sense of where you’re at and where I should be? I want to get in the same frame of mind as you and I know that being “on the cusp” isn’t totally well, some numbers for goals for me would really, really help. thanks!

  3. Hey girl, loved your honesty in this post. I can definitely relate to having a hard time moving past that comfort zone, especially when you’re feeling pretty good and energetic, but all of your recent fatigue is your body’s way of letting you know that it needs more fuel in the tank, and if it doesn’t get that fuel, your health will start to decline again. Like you said, it’s pretty dangerous to keep your body in an underweight state and you don’t want to end up with any long-term, irreparable damage. I’m glad that you have the desire to keep going, because that really is the most important first step… the only way to really push past the comfort zone is to just do it because you know it’s right, no matter how uncomfortable it might feel.

    As for quick snacks for works, energy bars are always good ones. Luna, Larabars, Clif… there are a tonne of them floating around on the blog world 🙂 A banana with nut butter works really well too. Just pack a banana and some nut butter in a small container and you’re golden 🙂

    Good luck, girl, and stay strong!

  4. yea i love this post because there definitely comes a point ED or not, where ur body wins over and u realize that u need more energy coming in to help fuel u and keep u awake and ready to handle the day.

    and just knowing this can make the world of difference because it will help u fight through the struggles and do what needs to be done.

    im so happy youve come to that realization! stay strong love!

    LOVE how when u pulled the toast apart the egg oozed out. that is so delicious!! ❤

  5. I think you have some great goals r/t calorie intake for the amount of energy you’re expending. I was a gymnast until the end of highschool, so I can definitely sympathize with everything relating to that.

    Have a great weekend!

  6. Hey hun, I’m glad you recognise the need to fuel your body well in order to keep it going. I admire the fact that you’re able to use your blog as a way of holding yourself accountable for your actions. I started out the same way but unfortunately, when I used to post up my meals, there was a reader who would make really hurtful, snide comments about my food choices and that kind of made me stop posting up all my eats. Also, I tend to withdraw from the blogging world whenever I start sliding which isn’t a good thing so yeah… =x Anywayyyy, keep staying on the up gorgeous and have a great week ahead!

    Much love
    Nat xoxo

  7. I’m so glad that you are seeing that your body needs more fuel!! We all have to do this, so I’m so happy that you recognized it!! That’s a huge step! 🙂

    I LOVE toad in the holes!!
    ❤ jess
    xoxo

  8. I ONLY like crunchy, raw carrots! i can’t stomach them when they are cooked…it’s something about the mushy texture…don’t know what it is but i’m just not a huge fan! anyway that’s enough on my carrot rant! xx

  9. I totally feel you – I’m trying to gain weight myself. My period has been on the fritz for the past year and I’ve discovered that although I’ve never let myself go hungry, I’m simply eating too many nutrient dense foods that don’t provide me with enough calories. It’s hard for me to try to gain weight because I am completely comfortable with my body and like I said, I never let myself get hungry…I just like to eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Anyways, it’s a struggle for me as well and it makes me feel less isolated when I read about others going through the same struggles as me. I totally get what you mean when you say it’s fun to gain at first, but then it starts to feel uncomfortable. Looking forward to reading more of your blog!

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